I overthink a lot, I overthink about what life is, what life was and what the past could have been.This overthinking of the past to match the expectations of what I could have been precedes the thoughts of what the future could be for me. The future takes a back step when thinking about what could have transpired in the past if I had lived it differently and the influence it could have had on how I was viewed by people(The generalisation is due to the lack of impact on my life). From this I wonder if I have perceived myself based on what other thought of me even though it actually meant nothing at that point. These are just mere thoughts because of not getting what I thought I deserved and not being able to grow into something that I wanted to be. Even though I feel the opportunities have extinguished externally, I still have hope of a better tomorrow but it is still clouded by the past which I have not been able to move on from. I see others moving on which makes me want to too. Here is an interesting thought that I always had which is to have fun in whatever you do and I am trying to live this emotion of not knowing and not having a defined area of working hard towards though this opens me up to an array of opportunities, this thought sounds fun but is all too frightening to be living this out alone.Being academically very successfully and constantly busy could have negative ramifications as I don't know what to do when doing nothing.This is just to share the feeling of overthinking decisions and yet making the wrongs ones. Hoping to find a path that leads to a life long journey but also to enjoy the emotion and time that is current.
I experience the feelings you had right now. I don't know what path should I follow as I am totally clueless. I feel helpless right now. I had so many thoughts in my mind that I didn't have a discussion with anyone I know. It's like it's all in my head. My life feels empty. I don't know how to feel right now.
I am writing this to the person who replied to my first message in the Thoughts thread. I just wanted to say I understand and I don't think advice is very helpful but I think you should try looking back at the moments in your life that makes you feel really good be it small or big and about being clueless I think it's okay to not know things and you should try what I am doing which is to take this as phase in life and live with it happiness as when you look at it after 10 years you should be able to smile at it and I think you should not stop trying and also this is the best time try new things, once you know exactly what you want to do you may not be able to experience this moment( just like any other moment this is also unique in its own way). I am going through the same thing but also trying to move to a better place. I hope you achieve what you wish for :).