This will be a harsh thing to say and will not impress a lot of folk especially those who have lost someone due to this(so have I) but see, i've struggled with mental health issues for so long and came to a conclusion- I am very very jealous of people who have ended their suffering. I know we miss them and they left so many behind but in my mind it's just - leaving is so much better than staying and not knowing why.
Why this suffering, why constant misery, why constant overthinking and sadness.
Why telling people how you feel for them to not understand or even worse - use it against you!
Why sleepless nights and why nights I don't remember due to trying to numb the pain.
Why letting people in for them to walk out when they realise how messed up i am?
Why having people i love tell me to "fix myself" when i'm doing the best i can?
Why all the worthless scars I have on my body if I can't even do that one thing right?
Why act stong 24/7 if i'm too weak to do one thing right?
Why it became torture instead of being life?
So many why's and not enough answers.
Rant over. 😭