Im just going to vent. But I am so so so so so so very tired of my mum. When I make a decision, I am told I don't have common sense to think right, cause my decision is not logical. I'm been talked down since I'm young and I'm just so tired of life. I wanna leave, my house to avoid my mum or reality I guess in a way I wanna escape from everything. My mum makes me doubt myself in everything that doesn't go her way. I'm 21 and yet I feel like I'm being treated like I'm 12. nothing changes besides my age. My mum always say I'll never be like her ( a successful person with a lot of common sense ), I just want to let it out. I feel like I have no redeeming qualities, nothing of value, my opinions are always refuted according to her I don't have anything to cover my back. I've been in close contact with a covid patient when I went back to my part time job for one day, and she keep telling me to hide any evidence of me in close contact, I told her I'll just stay at home without going out she gets mad because she wants to go out and eat and implied that somehow its my fault to work on that day and now no one will accompany her to go eat. When I get frustrated and tear up, she tells me to kill myself. she would have gotten her wish if she didn't interfere with my suicide attempt. Seriously, I'm tired and hurt, I feel like I'm trapped. I used to have so much aspiration, thinking I could be independent once I hit 21. I don't, I'm exhausted with life, I'm tired of opinions, i'm tired of being called selfish for wanting to work, when working is my only way of escaping her. I've been able to hide myself well outside of my house, I'm known to be open minded and happy, thinking or sometimes just mentioning stuff my mum does just breaks me down mentally. Maybe I'm just weak minded, I feel so insignificant, i want protection, i want privacy, i want to be able to reveal stuff on my own accord instead of feeling like I'm being interrogated. I don't know what I want anymore. I'm just living life like a robot, just following orders. I became of people pleaser I believe partially because of my mum. I'm sorry.