I guess my good old pal thats known me for 10 years hit the nail on the head. And i thought i was hiding it so well.
Well no shit. You really fuckin think so?
amd why wouldnt i be?
At least i tried to not let it effect others.
I mean what little others are left
Yeah, so i told the last nsa dude to find another hoe
That i wasnt gonna screw no more, and he needed tp find another.
and i ment it.
so what hes known me a long time now.
And well, i dont really have any one else come and check on me.
I dont really leave
Unless of course i get super trashed.
Which is how i guess the long term friend knew i was depressed.
I havent said anything to that effect
I mean, i am fine. Some days i even manage to stay awake all day. RIght?
And i am not boohing about my problems
I dont call anyone.
I dont answear my door to talk to anyone for christs sake. Not like tahts a problem. Only 2 times in the last month has someone knocked that i havent answeared. So for real.
So how the fuck does anyone figure im depressed? Especially someone i have only talked to maybe 4 or 5 times in the last two months? i mean, im fine. Their aint nothing anyone can do to help me anyways.
Really i mean it. What the heck can anyone do for me? Give me a job that i can handle? Stop my dreams/nightmares? Make me unafraid of every little thing? Put groccreies in my house? Give me the motivation to get off my lazy ass and clean? Make me a better parent? Give me the magic fairy dust thats needed to help me fit right in with society? Put somebody in my home that i know i can trust? That will tell me the truth about anything? Put someone in my home that wants to be their, with me? Maybe someone can improve my looks so i will be wanted. Maybe someone will put someone here that gives a fuck for real about me? How about maybe someone can can help me care if i wake up everyday?
Or i know. Telling somebody about !y depression will magically make life something to.look forward too.
Fuckin sun comes up everday for what? Its so blah. and pointless. And it drags on amd on. The days. Always the same. Never any fucking REASON for them.
Im tored of em.