I'm upset. I have a toxic ass family. They hid an extreme child abuse case from me because I am an advocate against abuse. Now this baby will have brain damage and permanent medial issues forever. Like retinas detached, broken bones, bleeding in the brain. They don't like that I am breaking the cycle. I was sexually abused (extreme), kidnapped, almost murdered, and so many other things. I'm studied by professionals all over the world because I don't have multiple personalities or drug addiction. I have some super effed up PTSD but therapy works. I've worked hard to be where I am. The baby is now going to need long term medical care with the best clinics. The child services know me because I have fostered before. I have an extensive medial background and my partner has 20 plus years dealing with this stuff as well. Now I shouldn't know all of the details but Google and FB stalking has confirmed everything. I've done top secret foster care before because of high profile cases. But I also have this guilt or frustration that if child services reaches out, I will absolutely have to hide this baby and not tell family that I have it. Do I take it and keep it a secret? Do I turn it down and ask another medical family to take it? I can't put this on social media or share with people I know because it will explode. I'm crying in my car, I am so upset that my family is doing that typical "you don't know what happened", "I don't think the abuser did it", "I'm a good parent even though this child has broken bones, can't see, brain bleed, etc" I just needed to vent and be unknown because I am heart broken. These adults failed this baby.