I'm friends with someone who is very toxic. I'm very naieve and I don't want to lose her, as she still can be so funny when she doesn't have these 'attacks'.
She has been questioning DID for a long time. But idk, I can see she is faking it. And a lot of friends of mine say it as well.
She used to be funny, and care about me. But more and more this dissapears. Like she becomes one big attention seeker.
I am currently staying the night. Cuz well, normally she would have these 'shifts' and kinda have panic attacks. Idk. I just gave in and tried to help her. But these days I'm done with this childish/crazy behaviour. I just want my fucking normal friend back.
Yesterday she had this 'shift' again and became very creepy. She even fucking bit me. Then she said she was dangerous so she tied herself up with some rope. So this kind of stuff never went that bad, so I had a panic attack cuz I couldn't take the creepiness anymore. Some minutes later she freed herself. Came to me and wanted to put her hand in my neck. I have PTSD, so angrily I shoved her hand away and had a panic attack again.
Then she became 'normal' again. Asking if I was okay. I don't understand anymore. She makes me feel scared to die, suicidal, angry, triggered to selfharm. And still I don't want to leave her as she is the only person who understands me, who I can share everything with.