I have a friend who I'll call Jamie. She's an aggressive person. Like a red head but asian. I'm her right hand man. There to comfort her, talk to her and just be there for emotional support because she hates living and her family. I hate it. I remember when there was a guy she really liked. They would chat and flirt all the time but she wasn't sure if he liked her back or was leading her on. I was there, comforting her whenever she thought he didn't like her. 2 hour long calls at 3 in the morning no matter how tired I was because her life mattered more than mine. Once my dad was exposed to covid. I was very scared and needed soneone to talk to. I went to her. She didn't give a damn. And continued to talk about her fucking crush. "That's alright. I wont come to you with my problems anymore :)" And I bottle all the shit I have. (Thank god I found this website) It was like, 'you got my back but I'll let you die if i need to' You'd think why not just be honest to her. I have no friends. Im sorry but anxiety is making me feel like everybody I know hates me. I'm gonna be form 1, school hasnt started, and teachers decided to put me in a seperate class away from EVERYONE i can atleast talk to. My home life is shit. I too, think the world is better without me. My elder brother is smart and atheletic, elder sister is downright gourgeous and got guys simping for her. What about me? Oh, lil' ol anonymous is just a waste of fucking space. I use to be talkative and loud. now i'm akward and quiet. Back to my 'friend' Idk why. I just cant leave her. No matter how many fights we get into, I always end up crawling back. I honestly dont know how im suppose to continue school with this. I have those moms that make fun of your weight and how you look. And my sister joins in, laughing at everything i thought was good about me. Not to mention homophobic mom, gay daughter. I dont want to kill myself because I'm not even 2 decades old and that's just a waste of a life. So idk what im suppose to do now. Happy i found this but now im crying.