I’m 18 years old, and I torture myself over it. It is by far my greatest trial. I’m pretty sure I knew I was gay for the majority of my life. Whenever I looked at a cute boy, I felt some different type of feeling, but I didn’t know quite what it was until I was around 14, when I knew, I was gay. I also have pretty bad ADHD, it can at times make my friends really annoyed with me. I’m pretty sure my ADHD and personality made it hard to open up with people, especially when everyone is like “oh you’re gonna date some bad bitches” or “you’re such a ladies man”, I got that one a lot. Anyway, as I progressed through high school, at about 16 years old, I caught myself thinking boys that were younger than me were cute. I didn’t think much of it, because they were only like 3 years younger than me. I never really saw myself having crushes on people my age, however, there are plenty of boys my age that are cute but my school didn’t have too many. As I grew older and older, I kept wondering if I was going to like boys my age. It never happened. I was crushing on the middle schoolers in my school. I was a junior in high school. It made me hate myself. When I turned 18, I think it was, I came to a horrible, heartbreaking, immensely embarrassing realization. I’m a Pedophile. I have never ever acted on my drives, however. I don’t know what I can do to fix. I feel as if it’s impossible to open up to literally anybody, because pediphilia is one of the most feared cases. My friends would get into topics about pedophilia, if some celebrity was outed or something. “If you’re a pedophile, you need to be locked up for life”, shit like that. So that’s why I came in here. So I can, for the first time of my life, share my deepest, darkest, most terrible secret. Thank you for reading.
Warning: This post contains Adult content. Reader discretion is advised.