For the past couple months, a lot has happened. Major issues within the family, stress to be perfect to not disappoint, can't talk or vent to anyone without being judged. There's just so much that I have to let out because it's starting to hurt. The amount of anxiety driven thoughts feels like it's actively pushing against my skull trying to escape. The amount of self hatred thoughts eating away my confidence each and everyday. There's none that I can turn to express all of this to. All I can do is act as if nothing is out of place, to pretend that everything is perfectly fine. While I deal with these thoughts everyday and night. Sometimes I feel like just going for a walk at two o'clock in the morning. Wandering aimlessly in the night till daybreak, hopefully finding someone I can talk to. Someone that will understand and listen to what I have say. To allow me to empty my thoughts without worrying that I'll be judged. So these blasted inner thoughts that make me feel miserable and useless can go away. I just need someone to listen and allow me to be tearful, to embrace me while I vent. I don't think I can handle this anymore, I'm gonna snap one of these days and that truly terrifies me. I just need to yell and scream out all my thoughts. But I can't do that. I don't know anymore, I don't know what to do. I'm lost, lost in a labyrinth of my own terrible thoughts.