My sister committed suicide recently. I don't know how to deal with it. We've bounced around the foster system and have been fortunate enough to never get separated. I know not all siblings are so lucky. We've been each other's rock, and now there's an empty space in my life that no one else can fill. I don't know why she did it, she only left a note addressed to me that said "I'm sorry, I had to." I wish I'd have done more, maybe paid attention more, perhaps theres something I just didnt notice was happening. I don't know how I'll ever get through this. I blame myself.