There is none. You never actually find out what the truth is behind another persons lies. As I have recently found out you will never actually believe they are telling you the truth. Even if they are. Where it beganLets go back to the beginning, some 20 odd years ago and I’m in my teens. I use to go down to a youth club with friends, there was a big gang of us and we would use it as a cover to basically run amok. There we were some of the younger ones at the age of around 13. We also had the older crowd coming down to in their Citroen saxos who would smoke and stand around outside. Think modern day cruisers but on a budget. Me and the girls would linger around checking out the different lads who came down each night. I remember falling head over heels in love with this one lad. We shall call him Garth. Yes I removed one vowel from his name to help me remember who I mean. Now Garth was a year younger than me, the same age as some of my friends and went to their school. I was smitten with all my worldly wise experience this was love. I had the heart scribbles on my maths book to prove it. Well Garth was gorgeous in a bad boy, rough round the edges kind of way. We met up on the weekends and would spend hours on the phone chatting. For all of about three weeks. Because yep you guessed it. Garth was seeing one of my closest friends Laenni behind my back. She was at his school, tiny pretty little blonde thing and she wasn’t afraid to do things that I hadn’t. Like smoking resin with him and letting him cop a feel in the park not to mention getting blind drunk on a quarter bottle of vodka. Fast forward to Tuesday evening and I remember confronting them both out on the grass at the front of the club and being so upset and hurt that I shouted. I really shouted and that’s not my style. I will argue till the cows come home but I rarely shout. So that was the end of going to the youth club and the end of a number of close friends. Laenni, Nicole and Nya, three of my closest friends were al in on it. Of course it was all denied by everyone who knew. But as you can guess Laenni and Garth got together a matter of hours later and it turned into a good few years for them. Ok so the hopeless romantics will see that as a happy ending. But, I walked away from a group of my best friends and my biggest crush over being lied to. Of course I never found out the truth, but 13 year old me was lied to once and walked away without a second thought. So why can’t 35 year old me do the same? Next up, Michel, well, he was all kinds of fucked up bad boy. But oh my god he was gorgeous, he was a skater type who I met through a friend. Jemma was seeing James and Michel was his cousin. So it was only normal that we would all hang around together. He was talented at everything he did, drawing, music, skating, he was that guy with floppy brown hair and tanned skin. Even when we re met 15 years later he was still amazing just with tattoos this time. Even better! So Michel, we were just playing around and kind of dating, we didn’t have discussions back then about being exclusive etc. It just happened, once you had sloped off round a corner of a park for a quick snog it just was. I was about 15 by this time and although a lot of my friends were starting to think about having sex I definitely wasn’t ready. I was still happy with a bit of a fumble and some cock teasing as it is now commonly known. But of course Natalia was........ she was a girl who used to hang around with the group of friends and she got whatever she wanted...... and one night so did Michel. Of course I asked about them but no one was forthcoming about what had happened. So yet again hurt and single and lied to. Now at this stage it’s important to say I was still a firm believer in loyalty and faithfulness. It meant a lot to me. My parents were pushing 20 years together, my Nan had married just after the war and loved my grandad till the day he died. I get that almost all of the people I’ve mentioned so far were maybe a bit more worldly wise. They came from broken homes, alcoholic parents, some didn’t know their dads. God some would have been slapped with asbos or whisked off to social services if it had been a few years later. But we were all mates. In a weird mixed up world we were mates and the code was that you don’t double cross each other.