Wish I could blame someone else. the pit in my chest hurts so much. I just moved back to my hometown for love last week! the moment I arrived at my friends place, he tells me my boyfriend was now dating his ex wife!
I could not believe this as I had talked with my boyfriend and he had told me to come back a month ago, I had to quite my job and pack up and tie up some loose ends where I had been living in a community about 8 hours away.
Im devastated. its my own fault, I didn't want to be in a relationship in the first place. But I fell in love.
I didn't get to talk to him about this, he came over to my friends with his new girl, to rub it in.
I want him back. I miss him. I love this person despite many faults.
it was my fault I didn't treat him right, I didn't want to comment to him. he drinks, he does drugs, he has an awesome big heart. and this is killing me.
after talking to him a month ago I was so happy to be coming back and have his beautiful spirt in my life! then the phone went cold, I was worried but I stuck to my plan on coming back. I could never guessed that he could have had such a strong impact in my life. I made a huge mistake. I don't think I'm getting him back. its over. I just turned 50, I look in the mirror and fucken hate myself! like really hate myself!
Part of me thinks oh maybe ill have a second chance, but we dated 3 years and I didn't even want a boyfriend at the time. so if she treats him right and she's younger and cute, I'm sure its going to work between them. I have no chance.
ive been waiting for a week hoping he might reach out to me, but no.
I guess anyone reading this probably thinks I'm a real shit head. I do feel like one. just wasted everyones time!