tw/ literally everything

Time Spent- 1h 1m
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im so tired i love this girl with my whole life she makes me feel alive and i want to live all my happiest moments with her but sometimes shes a little bit pushy and i get mad and she gets mad and in the end its all just toxic one day she just left me and i literally wanted to die so fucking bad and it annoys me bc i dont wanna say im emotionless but i kinda just lost all my feelings of love and happiness its all just a lie but with her those all come back and it pisses me off like why her why now? i want my life to be with HER everything for HER i want it to be us till the end of times and oh my god it feels so good to say this nobody will listen to me i really wish i could hug her right now and cuddle her and just give her all my affection but it just makes me feel terrible like i never wanted to be as toxic as my parents were to our kids if we ever have them so i dont know