I actually wanna die tonight. Like I want to end everything right now. I keep playing the what if’s in my head and my brain keeps telling me to just do it. I’ve been clean from any self harm for 26 days but today is so shit. I feel useless to my boyfriend because I can’t cheer him up yet other people easily can, useless to my little siblings because ,y boyfriend is a better sibling to them than I could ever be and they tell him everything but won’t even tell me when they’re sad despite me always saying I’m here for them and open to listen, I feel like a burden because my depression and anxiety and trust issues have been acting up and I’ve just been a big problem for my boyfriend, I’m so agitated, I have such a bad headache from crying all the time, and I just don’t wanna feel emotions anymore. I just don’t want to feel anything. I feel like such a waste of space and I can’t fucking take it anymore.