Two out of Three

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Marriage, career, kids.

It seems you have to choose 2 out of 3.

I think, it's not that I don't want kids, it's just that I don't want to be married, and I can't afford to have one on my own.

Having a child and rearing one is so much work, and the last thing I imagine wanting around me, is a lover/husband. Simply because in my experience, men are a lot of work too. Looking good takes effort, seducing is effort, being fun, communicative and feminine is a huge effort. All the while keeping your dignity and independence, which can only be the result of working for good money, which you can't do, if you have a kid, as a woman.

I've been really good at acting out femininity, but honestly, if you don't have kids and are on your own, it's easy and fun, if you have a guy, you can still do it, but once you have kids, your femininity is gonna have to be put on hold at least until they're teenagers or something.

To bodily changes are also notable. Not even talking about esthetics, but purely the physical damage pregnancy and delivery does to you...hormonal-wise and such. I do worry.

I've been married to a guy for 10y throughout my 20's. He was a good guy, and he did love me. One day I packed all my underwear and went on my way, cause I realized if I stayed, I would have become a suicidal alcoholic. I never regretted that decision.

I think my marriage, as well as my parents' made me resent marriage. Especially traditional marriage.

It's just work and spending your money on stuff you don't even want.

But a kid.. a kid requires care of course, but at least the kid grows (hopefully). You get to watch a human evolve.

Granted having a kid is also very risky. What if they come out perfectly healthy, but with an unbearable personality? It's not always about parents, after all.

What do you think? What is your experience with this?