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my ex that traumatized me; whatever, I did the therapy, time and even like letting go exercises, like letter venting or screaming into a pillow until I feel it’s all out. 5 years.

Could it literally just be ptsd, or some shit because of reoccurring thoughts. Maybe I feel like strange because I was pregnant at one point in time and I hate when people say like oh 2 weeks in doesn’t count but if someone was going to have a kid and was pregnant 2 weeks in and “lost” it then it’s a loss right? But then in the future when he has a woman that he actually sees a human he will hold her and tell her if she lost a baby it’s ok and is comforting, but for me I get kicked to the side and forgotten about, called crazy like mentally persuaded to abortion, it hurts.

whatever, I honestly feel dead inside and it hurts to not want anything to do with men or baby’s. I feel shunned from the idea or thought. I even still to this day have a tough time losing weight because it sounds dumb but I mentally like seeing a tiny belly on myself but it’s me coping with the idea of idk being pregnant or that I’ll never be pregnant idk?