I've been really unmotivated to do anything lately. I don't know if it's the weather. But I've really been not motivated to do anything at all, not just for work but even for myself in my own life. I don't want to eat meals because it's "too much work" to make one. I don't want to get out of bed because it means I have to work or do things in general. I planned to go out with a friend this weekend but I'm starting to think about not going to that either because I would rather stay in bed and just sleep everything away. Even watching videos and laying down sounds like a lot of work for me right now. It's just all so stressful that I don't want to do anything for myself to even just get my day going. And that's not even including work. Work has been so stressful for me. Because I've been so unmotivated to do anything, I don't do my tasks at all. I barely get things done. My supervisor has been trying his best to help me in the right direction but I just choose not to do it. I feel guilty about it because I did that myself. But I just was so unmotivated that I didn't want to do anything else. I've been in my head so much. I tried to reach out to therapists / counselors near me but the one I wanted to have a consultation with said she isn't taking in new patients. And the other one I reached out to hasn't responded yet. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed to the point that I can't even cry - if that's even a thing. Like I want to cry to let some emotion out but nothing. Nothing comes out. I'm just left in a mood where I feel empty, lost, sad, unmotivated. I've told my supervisor about me just having this huge mental battle with myself, but all I got was "I sympathize with you. But we still have to get the work done." It honestly kind of made me want to punch him in the face because that's kind of what I didn't want to hear but I knew it was coming anyway. I really haven't done much work in the past two weeks. I've been so unmotivated to do anything lately that I just don't know what to do about it. Any choice I have to make seems so stressful. And I don't like talking to other people about my stress because I don't want to let them know that I am "weak" or "broken" but I guess if I find the right people they wouldn't see me as that. This one guy I've been talking to and really interested told me recently he loved me. And when I told him that I didn't tell him about me stressing out last night because I didn't want to make him sad or upset because I was being so down. But he ended up being upset with me anyway because I hadn't told him. Kind of funny how that works out, right? He said "I love you more than anything else right now and I just want you to be happy." It kind of made me realize that I can find the right people. I just choose not to open up as much. I don't know if talking about what's stressing me out at work will help with work, but it's just been so difficult trying to just do anything. I guess it wasn't hard to do this, right? But I find it easier to do the things that are kind of mindless and not as tolling on the mind. I guess I am afraid of responsibility too and failing. That's been a big issue my whole life. I always strive to be perfect, but I'm not and I guess these past two weeks I've been hitting a wall each time whenever I am told I have to do something again because it's "not right." But I should be ok with that. My supervisor is simply trying to help me in the right path and get me moving forward because that's what the company has to do. I don't know why I'm overthinking it and making it seem like I'm the one who will be responsible if the company fails or not. Because I'm not. It's just really conflicting because I fight with myself in my head a lot and it stresses me out more and motivates me more to do nothing at all. I am so lost as to what to do next and how to go about this funk. It's really annoying. I'm a bit impatient too when it comes to myself because I know I can "see a path back to happiness" but I really "choose not to take it." I don't know. I'm hoping when I go out with my friend this weekend, going out to my happy place will help me release some stress and just general negative emotions that I've been feeling and it'll hopefully help me start getting back to the better version of myself that I know I can be.