how can u not want to die? where do u find hope when u've given up on religion, family, friends and urself? when everything feels like ur just acting out how others expect you to be? when you yourself dont even have expectations for urself? ive stopped taking care of my body, waiting for the breakdown of my health. cos altho i can vividly imagine plunging a knife and twisting it in my heart and feeling relief from the pain, i dont have enough resolve to do it atm. its not fear of death, but the regret that i will die young. in the end, i also know, that i just wanted to escape responsibilities.