Things are so good for me far enough. I am able to live well, eat well and sleep well. But I am not at all helpful. To the people I hold dear to myself, I know what a big of a bitch I am. I am just leeching off of them and I have been so useless.
They are financing my education because they love me and as a parent, they are doing everything they can to make my future good. They never forced me.
But no matter what, I can just not convince myself to work hard. Not even for my own sake. I am pursuing my loved subject but now everything seems such a big mistake.
I can not believe how horrible I am.
I feel utterly useless and shameless.
I really want to do something for them and the best would be to work hard and become someone respectable. But here I am bitching about myself and just laying on the bed like it is no big deal.