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I feel useless.

It's been so long that I've been feeling so. My thoughts make no difference to anyone. My work doesn't help anyone.I always end up getting on the wrong foot with a lot of people. No body refers me for anything.I have a forgetting problem(not like the Alzheimer ofcourse) but I have problem in recollecting stuff instantly. I can't have conversations with ppl because I don't remember clearly what I watched last week or month. I don't pay attention to details.Am I even worth being here?

I can't help anyone, no one respects me or my thoughts. I can't do anything dynamically.i need to have things planned. Plus I'm not someone who can get something done in life. No one will ever come to me for suggestion. I'm just like some dust on this earth.Present and nothing else. Everyone has some talent around me.I just can't think of anything. I don't have passion for anything. People around me are have strong characters.I can't make decisions about anything. I can't do anything before anyone does it.I can't answer simple questions. I forget.i need to keep refreshing my memory to remember what I had learnt even last week.I can't answer anything related to it unless I have refreshed my memory. Even if I have understood it, because again I don't pay attention to details.i have given up, but I don't wanna die.i can't. I am too lazy to even work up. I won't be able to achieve anything in life. I am in a job which requires constant public speaking and I'm a big time introvert. Plus overthinking. I can't even speak up in the zoom calls without video on. Even turning in the video scares me and fills me with anxiety.I have anxiety also.i don't fit in anywhere here. My suggestions are useless because I never am able to consider all possibilities.i miss out something or the other and hence my suggestions are useless.I can't help anyone.i can't have a personality of my own. I can't do anything of my own.i have so many problems.