i just wish to become my younger self ,again.-it's past 1 am rn, and i feel like shit.someone disturbed my sleep, and yeah. just like that, i dont have the mood to sleep now.i hateeveryone. I HAVE ONLINE CLASSES EARLY IN THE MORNING. couldnt you understand??I AM TIRED PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. why are u making me so depressed in the middle of the night???cmon, you dont know me at all, so dont pretend to care.Y R U PRETENDING TO ADVISE mE WHEN IN ACTUALITY YOURE JUST THROWING INSULTS AT ME???beach, u need to know the different between 'supporting' and 'advise'Dont you know? when someone is in their lowest, u need to give them SUPPORT, NOT ADVICE.AND IM DONE WITH EVERYONE.WHY ARE PPL POINTING THEIR FINGERS AT ME???I just wished that someone would appear in my life someday,and let me get out of here.i just wished that someone would console me when im going crazy.and, at the very least, know when i feel like crying.i dont wish them to hug me when im sad. i just wish that they know.at the very least, if they knew, they wouldnt shoot me with those insults and useless advices, but instead, support me.i just wished that. thats all.in my life, probably there's no one ever realised my silent tears all this time. and istg, it's hurt bottling up all these feeling all by myself. when i do telling a part of these crazy thoughts to my friends most of them give me advice, which is i found totally useless.i just want to tell them straight,"If I wanted to hear some advice, Tedtalk is already enough"cMON, i tELL you GUys THESE Feelings of mine cause i want you guys to console with support, not advice......then again, maybe im just hoping too much from this world.i know,mostly im talking rubbish here, but the point of this whole confession is to make sure my mind is stable.i already went crazy last night, and i dont want to repeat it again. going crazy in front of your family is not a wise thing to do, as it only increase your depression. why? cause talking crazy might lead any other person thinking that youre the most useless human in the world. and as a result, they think you as someone who deserves going to hell. lol. did that make sense? i dont know you understand it or not, but that was one of my experience of being looked down by other ppl. believe me, i would rather live alone that live together in this house.why? cause ur family expects too much from you.when you dont show your face when its family gathering or whatevs, they would think that you dont want to see their faces, and straight up thinking that youre the most useless child in the family ,,that your 7 generations wont have good life.they just literally dont ask whats up, and their imagination simply went wild IF THEY ACTUALLY ASKED ME WHY I DONT LIKE TO GO OUT SHOWING MY FACE, Is simply bcs i hated it :)dont you ever heard what is an introverted person is?cmon, y do u expect me to be someone who's talkative??? you dont even talk to me that much,, heck, when was the last time we had have a talk? when i was 10 years old??? HAHA. cmon, dont you see that ppl dont even bother to start a conversation w/ me? dont you get it?want me to explain to you?fine, i simply hated those fake coversations. hey, im an honest person. if you say something that got me interested, then yeah, ill be interested. if you simply talk about your life the whole time, y would you think that would get me interested and laughed and smiled and totally-not-faking-it-all?if you ask me ,then what are you interested in?cmon, even if i tell you about all those things i am going crazy for, im sure you wont stick around me any longer.people like you hate weebs , and hate a lazyass person like me. bdjkbajkbdjdvhasvh,f.\\i think thats all. i shouldnt spend too much time here.and if someone actually read this, im sorry, i've wasted your time with my rubbish venting.