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I have been holding my breath. Not knowing what to do or say. Thought that I was done with that; that I recovered. Guess I was wrong. 

You never asked me how I felt but I tried to sometimes. You never seem to pay attention, maybe you did but did not care. Afterall you have nothing to lose, do you?

A BURDEN, that what I am, how I feel. Believe me, I tried ending that, ending the pain but I could not. As least I was trying. Sorry to disappoint you that much. Sorry for being a shame to you. You deserve better but instead you got it. I tried removing that big burden from your shoulders but I failed.

You made it clear enough. Give me a little more time please. I’ll try again. I promise. You have suffered for almost 21 years now, it is now time for your bad phrase to end. This end I will try harder. I don’t know how much time it will take but I’ll do my best. I know you will never read this letter, if this is considered as one, but just know you will find happiness soon.

Sorry for making you spent for that money on me. Guess I’m the worst  child ever and I’m sorry you’re the one going through this torture. If. There’s an existing god, I’ll pray that your next child in your next birth will be much better than me. I hope that no parents get a child like me. I’ll pray that you have a child like Alison.