I’ve lost my mother and my fiancée, both of which were my best friends over the past year. I hold on to a lot of guilt because I was out spending time with a friend when I should have been home. Had I been home I may have been able to save my mother. Instead she suffered for 8 hours alone from a stroke and passed away. Shortly after that I lost my fiancée to a suicidal overdose of prescription medications. More guilt, I should have listened and taken her seriously when she asked for more emotional help. Now I sit on my bed with enough leftover pills to easily overdose myself. I have no friends. I have no family. All I have is guilt. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live.