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Wanting to overdose

So I’ve been collecting all sorts of random pills in the past several months. The reason for this is because I hope to build up the courage to end it and overdose. I know suicide isn’t the solution. I know I should contact someone to help me but I can’t. Each time I try I want to break everything around me. I already started cutting off my friends on social media. If they really cared they would call my phone. My mom always says she knows how I feel because she’s “the mothership” but obviously she doesn’t and it pisses me the fuck off. My girlfriend’s ex might be stalking me. Everything is shit. Idk I want to end it but I just can’t. This is shit. My dad is transphobic. I want to reach out to someone but if feels like they are out of reach. I just fucking hate this feeling. This dysphoria is ripping me apart. Fuck everything. My past won’t stay in the fucking past. Where is therapy when you need it? I’m only 17 and I’m confused, anxious, depressed, and bi-fucking-polar. Obviously people don’t see it cause my subconscious is all like don’t let people see cause that cause more problems. Whatever

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Re: Wanting to overdose

Do random pills work? Like, not the sleeping pills ones? Even the vitamins?

Cause I kinda want to do that too but I also read from what I've researched so far to kill myself is that overdosing doesn't really necessarily mean that it'll kill you. Sometimes, you'll just end up feeling sick, lose some hair, or just cause something in your external organs but not really end up in a coffin.

I'm seventeen too and it'll kinda suck if our attempt would end up as a fail. Such an embarrassment for me cause my mom doesn't really want her daughters to embarrass her so I gotta make it work on the first try, ya know.

I really don’t know how this site works I’ve just got on it a few mins ago to vent.. but please don’t kill your self everyone’s life has a value & everything you been going through will pass. I’m 19 & I OD’d when I was a freshman & im honestly so glad I survived. What I was going through at the fine was terrible but it allll passed & im living my best life rn. If you need a friend we can talk on sum else besides this

First of all; our bodies like to live. Overdoses rarely work. They do damage your organs & make life harder.

Millions of us feel like you. My parents abandoned me. My dad threatened to shoot my kids with a gun for telling him they loved him & giving him a hug. So most of us have parents we don’t like.

Quit making excuses & call the therapist. It’s very hard to step up with courage & talk to a therapist. Takes trust. Once you do; once you listen for a while; once you open up & figure out what’s really bothering you it helps a lot.

The meds also help greatly. They bring your brain into more balance. No they don’t heal you. They make you more normal so you can accept your mistakes & realize life isn’t as bad as it seems.

IF YOU WROTE HERE THEN YOU WANT HELP. I woke up & checked here for you. Love guided s stranger to you. So you matter.

God Bless