It's been quite a while since we broke up. In fact, a year in 8 days. A and I were friends before we decided to date. I loved him and he loved me. However, the way it started wasn't that great.We had a mutual friend. Though we would often meet, I was really close to his friend (X) than I was with him. One day, X came up to me and told me that he liked me. Having always been single, I told X I wasn't ready and that I feared commitment. X and I remained friends and we never brought up the subject again.However, 3 days after X confessed, A told me he liked me too. I said the same thing I said to X and I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship. Unlike X, A wouldn't stop pursuing me. A few months later, My friends told me that it was because he had put up a bet with X that he would make me fall in love with him.I despised him. When A was confronted, he said "I admit that it was a bet in the beginning and I don't know when or how, but now I actually have feelings for you". For the next 4 years, became closer to me. Somehow, slowly I started falling for him. I didn't even realize it either. Finally, we decided to date. The first few months were amazing. He showed me a different side to himself and the soft person inside him was seeping through. When we spoke to each other, it was as if I was pouring my heart into the conversation. Though we were never obvious about our relationship, I always had a big smile whenever I saw him. My heart would flutter knowing it was he who was calling even before the phone rang.I was flying! But then reality hit me. I was in a committed relationship. He was my friend and if something went wrong then I would lose it. I started to feel insecure about myself and the fact that we were only a couple because of the stupid bet. We slowly started drifting apart and I was going through a period of having trust issues. I started convincing myself that it was only infatuation. I feared heartache. I decided to break up with him.It was difficult breaking it to him as he didn't see it coming. But, I did. I knew that we wouldn't be able to sustain the relationship. With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I told him not to contact me again. I needed time to work on myself.Though it's been a year since we last spoke, everything still reminds me of him. The sentences, the height difference, the smells, the food and the music. But, I know the decision I made was the best for us. Throughout the past few months, I've learnt a lot about myself and how that was a good decision. But, there is also another part of me that wants to see him again. Recently, he tried contacting my friend to check on me. Apparently, he is waiting for my call. What should I do?I don't think I have the courage to pick up the phone.I don't want to go through that again, but was I wrong?Was I really in love?Maybe it was because he was my first love. Will I ever get over him? PLZ!!!