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was it my fault?

i have been bottling up this for quite a while now.


a while back, i was experimenting with my sexuality and i decided to engage in a romantic relationship with a girl. she was a close friend, but i secretly had feelings for her and she reciprocated those feelings.


we would go on dates frequently in secret, and our parents thought we were only friends.


we were very close. one night, when we were texting our conversation started to escalate a lot. she sent me quite a few explicit photos, and i felt as if i had to send back. i felt pressured, but i didn’t want to say anything. eventually it happened almost on the daily, and it just kept making feel worse. at that point, i hadn’t told anyone about the situation i was in. i wanted to seek help so much, but i didn’t. keep in mind, i am literally under the age of 15.


i thought this is what couples did. i thought it was normal for couples my age. i eventually broke it off with her for a variety of reasons. after we did, i knew i still had feelings for her. i couldn’t help it. currently we are not friends anymore.