hi you dont have to read this but if you want to go ahead
rn im probably supposed to be asleep but i just cant rlly get someone off my mind that i rlly dont want to be in my mind. you know what i mean. bc he doesnt exactly treat my like shit but its the things that he doesnt do that make me sad or overthink i guess you could say. he doesnt exactly give back the same energy that i do and i feel like he just used me as a rebound friend. he barely talks to me anymore and we used to like ft all the time day and night for over 8 hours and even hung out outside of school and hung out in school all the time and walked to classes together and got in trouble together and it was like we were bestfriends but then he started hanging out with like his ex and other girls that he just literally met and now its like oh forget her, the girl that i just spent a year getting to know and have fun with and live my life with im gonna go fuck around with these other girls. and im ok with that bc its his business. its his life not mine i wish he would of just reached out and tell me why he decided to all of a sudden drop me and just leave me in his shadow. but hey if your reading this i just want you to know that that one thing that we were talking about on ft ment so fucking much to me. it was even my birthday wish if it was the last thing i could do in my life i would do it with you because it was like you rlly understood me and you listened to everything that i has to say. i would campout in your backyard like we planned then we would swim in your pool then make snacks and drinks and watch movies outside on the big projector till we fall asleep under the stars and we would say what all the stars looked like like funny things and meaning full things and sad things and then my little thing that i never told you was that we would wake up grab some blankets and pillows a little thing to eat and then bike out to the park sit on the top of the playground like last time and we would be in our pjs and then while the sun was rising we would both fall asleep on each other on the top of the playground from last night because we were talking all night long about life feelings school and what we plan to do with our lives when we are older. but since you dropped me i'll just have to find someone else to do it with.