I had a short lived relationship with a Chinese guy. He was really sweet until I told him that I was half black. He first said that his parents wouldn't be okay with it, which is understandable. However, right after that he switched personalities and got mad at everything I said. I figured that he didn't like the fact that I was mixed so I called him out on his behavior. He told me he felt UNCOMFORTABLE with me and that he was just in a bad mood. I told him that it was okay if he didn't want to be with me because I'm mixed because he obviously had a problem with it. He told me he was hurt that I thought that he felt that way. I told him I didn't want to be with him if he was going to be like this and he was like, 'but I still love you'. I thought, you love me despite what? I ended it before my feelings could get hurt. He was hurt and I saw that he made a new social media account and posted "I cried all night last night because my ex broke up with me even though I told her I love her. I'm so depressed". I don't know if I overreacted or did myself a favor...
Re: Weird Chinese Ex
I’m very mixed. Racism is when you try to force random people in society to agree with your personal beliefs on race.
However; every humans body is their own. Only they have a right to chose who they date; sex; reproduce with; etc. Be it race; faith; $, etc. They also have a right to put rules on kids in their house on the same; or in their wills. Once a child is grown; moves out, & pays all their bills then it’s their choice. The parents have the right to disown them if they choose.
No one has the right to try to shame & pressure others into dating different races.
Just as I don’t have the right to tell you that you can not date other races. It’s your body. Your not my kid.
Me. I’m Native American. But also parts black; white; Jew; Spanish. My dad actually threw me out as a boy & disowned me my whole life over not looking Spanish like him. This caused my mom to give me away.
I worked with a white lady. Older black man shamed her into sex by saying she was a racist. She got pregnant. He never helped her a dime. His family shunned her & the kid & never bought them a thing. Her white dad had warned her he’d never see her or the kid if she had black kid; but she did it anyways. He payed her rent; bought the kids clothes & stuff; bought her cars. But he never talked to them. She’d call him a racist.
For yrs she’d cry at work & call white men racists. Whites wouldn’t date her. She was pretty. She endlessly said stuff like white men wont marry me & raise my kid. Black men just use me for sex; free rent; & smack me around. Black men don’t marry white women with kids. Funny thing is women had specifically warned her of that at work; both black & white, before she dated him. By the way he knocked up multiple young women. He’d go after the goofy 18 yr olds. He never spent a dime on any of the kids.
I experienced racism from blacks & whites growing up due to my looks so I get it.
I told my kids they could date any race except blacks; & could be gay. I said gay is genetics; who you date a choice. I said there’s a lot of Asians; Hispanics; whites; & others to choose from. I did it because I know very few black men step up as dads; especially if the mom is white. Then she has to try to find another man to raise that kid; & that’s near impossible if the kid is black. White genes are recessive. The kid will look black. Sounds mean; but it’s really love.
My kids finally got it by looking at my family. We look like a rainbow. But the whitish looking females in my family who had black kids endlessly bitch. The black dads & their families never buy presents; help with bills; spend time with the kids. I’m literally home schooling one of the boys. His dad is shit. His family has never bought the kid anything. Good kid. Shit dad with 8 kids between 6 women. Pays nothing to any.
None of them are married. They gave up. Never been married. Kids with no dads.
One of my nieces listened. She married an immigrant from India. He’s now an engineer. She’s a doctor. They have a huge house. Choices.
My kids have lots of mixed friends. They’d go thru a stage & say your racist dad. Then after talking to their mixed no dad friends & listening to the black single moms they’d say your right dad. I’d say I always tell you the truth.
There are good black men. They tend to mostly marry black women. A few marry other races. There are very few good black men who marry white women with mixed kids; work hard; treat the kids & woman well, & stay with them. Whereas a lot of white men will marry & be good to a white woman & her white kids from another man. I’m autistic so I use science. It’s statistics.
But I dated different races when young. I had white women who broke up with me when they realized I wasn’t white. I look mostly white. But my skin turns red & then dark brown in the summer. I have a blond Afro I use moose & hair spray on. Buckwheat hair. It’s so weird some immediately realize I’m not white. Others take a while to catch on. I used to laugh in sports. I was one of the fastest sprinters in the state & could slam. Black kids would say damn how is that white boy so fast. Ha.
I also had a couple of black girls break up with me cause their dads thought I was too white. I never got mad. I believe in true freedom. I’d tell the women it’s your body & life; never be pressured or shamed into things. But if they had a problem up front I broke it off. I learned it would always be an issue under the surface.
My wife’s family accepted me fully. Her mom didn’t like it at first; but mostly because I wasn’t rich. She had married a Turk so I guess she doesn’t care. She mainly didn’t like that I was poor.
So my advice. Move on. If he keeps pursuing you then maybe you reconsider. That’s your choice. True love is rare. Two people being completely devoted to each other. Most never get that once. If that’s you two then don’t give up. You will know it. I was this super stud. I look like Thor; only mixed when you study me close. Women loved me. When I met my wife I was blown away. Soon I dumped both my girl friends; stopped seeing the other 3-5 girls I was going out with at the time. And stopped going out with random hotties. I became celibate & tried to win her heart. I have never strayed.
Yes; I sound like a dog. But here’s the thing; even in my 50’s I look 30. I look like a movie star. I have a very masculine body. Random hotties still ask my out & flirt when I go places. Mostly college aged. I just attract them. I never had parents. Starting in middle school multiple older females started “dating” me at once. I’d tell them I’m not ready to marry; I’m not serious; I’ll date other females. Some didn’t like that; I dated the others who didn’t care. But I did the condom pull out early stuff. I never started it. They had to make the first moves. I’d tell them that. I realized I was so pretty women fantasized about meeting a man like me. So I was very immature. Had I got one pregnant I’d married her; provided for her he kid, or raised it myself. I’d been given away; id never do that to my kid.
Well good luck. You choose. Advice is fine. But you have to live it.
By the way I married a blond cheerleader & all my kids look like Brad Pitt & are built like the Hulk. Even my daughter. No shit. She is built like a male Olympic wrestler. She has a hard time dating even though she looks like Scarlet Johansson or someone. It takes a large physical male not to be intimidated.