3 months ago
Time Spent- 48m
37 Visitors

weird love triangle

So my life is complicated right now. During high school i was hopelessly in love with this girl and recently i found out she loved me back, but during that time she had a boyfriend. Now they where in an open relationship but i didn’t feel comfortable in that situation so i tried to stop pursuing her. A few years pass by and i’m now in college and we are still super good friends. She actually moved into this spare room my parents have and she’s been living with me for several months and it’s fine, i still love her but in a happy, and healthy way because we are now best friends and roommates. I truly want what’s best for her and if what’s best is to be friends i’m happy and satisfied. A couple weeks ago she broke up with her high school, and not long after that she starts dating another guy. And at first i was okay with it but it still bothers me a little bit because this new guy is one of my high school best friends. Now i try to love and care about everyone without attachments, so i want the best for the both of them because i love and care for them both so deeply, but i can’t help but hate them. And to make it even worse i talked to her and she told me that if i would have asked her to leave her boyfriend back in high school she would have done it to be with me. So i can’t help but think about what could have been and what would have been if i never introduced them. It’s makes me feel horrible when i think about how i regret introducing them because they are so happy with each other. But all i can think about is would i be happier if she was with me?? I didn’t think i still felt that way for her but talking with both of them about how i used to feel about her has brought up these old feelings. And i can’t help but feel like an awful friend because he’s so in love with her and i’ve never seen him happier. Plus this guy has been my friend since middle school but i’ve also know the girl very well because we used to be on the same sports team. Like i know deep down that i’m okay with then being together because they are both so happy and in love but it doesn’t make me feel better you know? like seeing them together recently is bringing up the same feeling i had back in high school. like how i felt so hopeless watching two people be happy without me. And i know she fucked me up but i can’t bring myself to hate her because she’s helped me through some really hard times but god seeing them together recently makes me so mad. Am i being a bad friend to him for still being in love with his girlfriend? Because i feel like shit for feeling this way but i can’t help it.