What a life to live

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From a young age I suffered from childhood trauma and not feeling wanted by my family and being left out. I got bullied from a young age and a way to cope with it was helping people and being nice which till this day I regret it. I hate the fact that I was so nice to those who hurt me. Later on at about 8-9 my cousin use to touch me and kiss me which was weird because I never understood what she was doing and I never spoke to anyone about it. Later on I started secondary school and got bullied to the point where I was eating in the bathrooms alone, leaving school early so I could run home and avoid the older crowds. I thought I met the one and he exposed me and humiliated me to the whole school. My ‘friends’ left me because they were embarrassed. I had a bestfriend she left me for a boy. My family spilt which caused chaos. My parents argued a lot. I tried to commit suicide twice from trauma. Friendships failed. My ex kept coming back to intentionally hurt me. I met another girl became bestfriend with her for 6 years told her everything I went through she disrespected me and used me and left me. Later on found out my dad cheated on my mum and was married to another woman with a daughter and my mum was pregnant at that time and we never knew this until after she had given birth. His whole family knew about this before us and came around our home smiling and laughing like it’s good old days.Had to move out of London because family started to become verbally abusive and started threatening my mum whilst she was pregnant. My dad left us whilst we were homeless. We got a home he came around and made my mum cry and left me with trauma because he was always aggressive and never showed affection to any of his kids.:))

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