hello i ramble a lot, bare with me thank you.I hate feeling emotions because they are really overwhelming. I hate fear, its the worst, it makes me want to crawl away where no one can find me. Being happy is really easy, even if I had a sad or angry moment, happiness always comes back anyway, smiling as if such a thing even happened. Is it because i'm dumb? unable to comprehend the proper way to react? I wish I could cut off all my relations to all those i've spoken to, because it feels terrible to talk and experience all of this. I can't even let go of it. What can I even do? I'm not even sure, I wish someone could tell me how to fix this awful mess of emotions. and how to keep living on with all these stupid mistakes thanks to my carelessness. God i'm pathetic. I hate being expected to do certain things. Its on the same level of fear. Yes, i may be able do somethings, but its hard to do anything with all these god damn expectations of me. I'm just so confused. How are humans suppose to properly function? I literally have no idea, and its terrifying. I hate it and it's so scary. what an awful feeling.