Something triggered me to go through my husband's phone. I've done it before but it is not something I do frequently. I know how he feels about it and he would be completely pissed at me. Anyway, I was looking through photos, all normal, except when I clicked on the screenshot folder. There were tons of pictures of half naked models from Instagram and other platforms that he had screenshoted. I want so badly to confront him but I know his defense will be anger that I went through his phone. I just want to know why, what are you doing with these pictures? He literally wakes at 4 am to go to work and then picks up our two young daughters from daycare and brings them home. These were all recent. We have a good sex life, at least to me. I just feel sick and don't know what to do. I'm kicking myself for even looking, I would just rather not know. I've always thought he may have a problem with things like that as he has boxes of playboy magazines in the garage. (All before knowing me). I'm just looking for any sort of advice. Thank you.
3 months ago
Re: What do I do?
Going to paly devil's advocate here:
It's porn. Some people are just like that. I love my bf, he's amazing, but I still look at porn sometimes. It means nothing to me, I don't feel like I'm doing something wrong... When I masturbate, I sometimes have these specific visuals, from porn, the crude, fleshy, physical parts of it. (I know some watch it for the power dynamic, but that's totally not for me.)
Most times I project it on my bf, thinking he's doing that to me. I know this is a big no-no, but I will often send him home-made erotica, specially when I know he's about to finish working, because I want to occupy his thought-space. I want him to think about me naked on his way home. And you don't have to be a model, god knows IG models don't look like they do in photos. It's amazing what angles, certain clothes and lighting can do.
Then again, my bf a unicorn. He's the one reliable guy who I'd trust with my life, and I know most guys are not to be trusted with nudes, so please don't think I'm encouraging you to do the same (or at least you know, frame out your face and stuff). I'm just trying to explain the mechanism of visual stimulation, that some people are more susceptible to. And yes, especially guys.
I'd never keep porn on my phone though, that's just stupid and unnecessary.
Bottom line is, as long as it's just porn, and he sometimes thinks about random strangers when he's masturbating, I wouldn't worry, so long as he's not sexting anyone.