what do i do?

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today or for a long time i’ve felt empty i try to find ways to make myself feel something but it doesn’t help, i buy myself things then i dint want them. i watch something but my heavy chest doesn’t go away. i eat food i love but feel guilty after eating it and want to throw it back up but i can’t throw it back up. i try posting on social media, i’ll post selfie’s and people hype me up but then i hate myself. i ask people to talk to take my mind off things but then i feel too exhausted to message . i just don’t know anymore or what to do with myself. i have no purpose in live. i’m just existing and i’m tired of it. i just want to feel something or what something to happen. they say “it’s okay not to be okay” but i’ve haven’t felt okay since 2018 and i just can’t keep living anymore. i’m tired of feeling nothing

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