What do you feel

Time Spent- 19m
14 Visitors

I am alone, I just turned 23. No one understands me. A traumatic childhood leaves me anxious and unable to express. My parents think I have Autism, they can't love me, they don't understand how. I can't teach them, I've tried. I live in a home for the disabled, it is uncomfortable. My hypersensitivity leaves me on edge, I either get angry or depressed. I need to express, but I don't want to hurt anyone. The restlessness is destroying me from within. I will not turn to drugs. I will not kill anyone. I will not kill myself, though I have already tried. Once in a while I can sleep well and slow down enough to look to Jesus, his example of love moves me to accept the way things are. It doesn't last, I don't want it to. The lack of love in my life is turning me into a primal entity, I fear for when I stop caring. Who knows what I will be driven to do. I can do things that others cannot fathom, how do I show them me, people will not accept me. I cannot accept myself, for when I do, the path of destruction that lays in my wake will be a monument to the suffering of the heart. We have ignored our feelings for too long, the Human race is destroying itself. I can't save it, I hope I don't destroy it.