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What I think about at night

You know you have no friends

When the day comes to an end

When you have no one to call

When you have no one at all

You know you are alone

When your sitting there at home

And everyone is busy

And you start to then feel dizzy

When you never see someone outside of school

And makes no effort to talk to you

When your always the last pick

And they call you names like prick

When you start to question

The one  person you trust

If they do it out of pity

Is it still worth it to be witty

Would it be better to act like a fool

So that people think im cool

People say to be a leader

But in real life no one will follow

Because almost everyone is hollow

My life feels like a lie

As if i'm watching through someone else's eyes

And no matter how much i try

When i really think about life 

  I start to cry

What really is my purpose

Because right now i just feel worthless

But is this how i truly feel

Or am i making it all up

To call attention to myself

Sometimes i want to just throw up

To make others just feel bad for me

So that I can have attention

A family's love can only go so far

And that's just one reason why life is so hard

 i start to wonder what if

What if i didn’t care at all

Rebelled in every way

Never hold back how I truly feel

I know i wouldn’t last to dinner’s meal

I want to leave the real world

Go in to one of my own

Where i come up with a exciting plot

Because in a way

I feel more at home

And every night i wait

 Wait for dreams to overcome

So my mind can drift away

So that i can have some fun

In the day i sit out

Of catching all the morning trout

So i can make a more exciting place

Where real world problems are all erased

but is this me writing

or my autism

am i really my true self

when i take medicine to behave

is it really all in vain

am I hiding the true me

and i'll see my true destiny

is there really such a thing

because that all my wings

have clipped feather by feather

and the forcast calls for weather

that will appear to be sunny

but when looked at closer

a rainy mess

this is what I think about at night

when there is no more light

I wonder if I'm the only one

who really knows

through all these high and lows