what if..

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i am terrified. i literally cry at whether or not God is real or not. whether he exists. I am afraid that when the day comes i wont believe enough an he will send me straight to hell. I am scared that when the day comes i will have comitted too many sins and not repented enough and will be sent to hell. and worst of all i am scared that none of it exists and that we all just stop existing and it goes dark forever. and this thought terrifies me. i dont know how to have faith in something i dont know for a fact is there. i want to believe he is there i really do i just dont know how.

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