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What’s it like to be married?

I’m an adult and survivor of an exceedingly abusive upbringing: both my parents are sociopaths, they dumped me, I have been in therapy for a decade. haven’t been in a serious relationship for over 20 years, and I was not even serious about that relationship. When I wanted to be serious they were cheating and abusive assholes. I’ve never been with a man who really loved me. It’s always a psycho who wants a live in punching bag. So I end up dropping out after I see the signs. I can’t seem to attract normal.

Still I am curious. What’s it like to be married? Is it easy or difficult? I feel like there’s something wrong with me because I’m not able to meet someone and get married.