I'm at this pathetic creepy point of self destruction, stomping on my pride and self respect so hard they're seizing to exist..Constantly messaging him spamming him and telling him things.. Trying to get his attention in any way possible But nothing is working, he isn't wavering and nothing is reaching him ..I hate myself But I also can't deal with it any other way I have so many conflicted opinions and thoughts I'm so confused .. and I can't stop I miss him too much and with this lifestyle .. pandemic and being alone and lonely it's not easy to just forget and move on I wish there was someone to help me get through it m.

I'm at this pathetic creepy point of self destruction, stomping on my pride and self respect so hard they're seizing to exist..Constantly messaging him spamming him and telling him things.. Trying to get his attention in any way possible But nothing is working, he isn't wavering and nothing is reaching him ..I hate myself But I also can't deal with it any other way I have so many conflicted opinions and thoughts I'm so confused .. and I can't stop I miss him too much and with this lifestyle .. pandemic and being alone and lonely it's not easy to just forget and move onI wish there was someone to help me get through it m. 

Well, if ya feel like sharing more, this is s good place to do it...What's happened between you thats lead ya to this point? Being a guy, our wiring will be somewhat the same. Maybe can figure out where his head/heart "could" be? Im assuming ya have no PH # or in person contact isnt possible? Yeah, this kinda thing can eat ya alive pretty quick too. I feel for ya.... kinda been there myself a few times over the yrs. If writing this out has helped thus far (did me 3 months ago), spill more if your comfortable. If your not where its sunny,try to keep a daily dose of vitamin D3 (10,000 IU) flowin thru ya if ya can. Hope ya can find relief, in some way, soon!

Well, if ya feel like sharing more, this is s good place to do it...What's happened between you thats lead ya to this point? Being a guy, our wiring will be somewhat the same. Maybe can figure out where his head/heart "could" be? Im assuming ya have no PH # or  in person contact isnt possible? Yeah, this kinda thing can eat ya alive pretty quick too. I feel for ya.... kinda been there myself  a few times over the yrs. If writing this out has helped thus far (did me 3 months ago), spill more if your comfortable. If your not where its sunny,try to keep a daily dose of vitamin D3 (10,000 IU) flowin thru ya if ya can. Hope ya can  find relief, in some way, soon!

Re: What's left of me

I’ll Tell you from my point of view because I’ve never cared about anyone not Even me. Just stop Caring, If I can do It you can to, why would you care?? Did he make you feel good for a long period of Time, well Now he doesnt care abou you, you’re just another person in His Life. Maybe onece you were the only one and he was the only one for you But for him It was just lies, lies to himself So he moved one, kept liyng to himself that he cares about someone and the other day saying he isn’t anymore, when you remained liyng to yourself too that you sitill like him But you only like the memories with him saying that you still like him when you only like how he once was (the liar him) dont know if you’ll feel better But its just viewing straight trough the Lines from someone who can’t care wasting the last 2 years trying to make people understand before killing himself

I’ll Tell you from my point of view because I’ve never cared about anyone not Even me. Just stop Caring, If I can do It you can to, why would you care?? Did he make you feel good for a long period of Time, well Now he doesnt care abou you, you’re just another person in His Life. Maybe onece you were the only one and he was the only one for you But for him It was just lies, lies to himself So he moved one, kept liyng to himself that he cares about someone and the other day saying he isn’t anymore, when you remained liyng to yourself too that you sitill like him But you only like the memories with him saying that you still like him when you only like how he once was (the liar him) dont know if you’ll feel better But its just viewing straight trough the Lines from someone who can’t care wasting the last 2 years trying to make people understand before killing himself

Hey.Reply to person #1 To be honest it doesn't help but I do it anyway I do spend some time in the sun Idk whats going on within me Anyway thank you for taking time to read a d reply Person #2 Its a weird way of viewing things but you're not wrong I'm not in a strong enough mental state to view things like that right now Right now it's easier for me to stay in the past and like the memories of him I can't accept it yet I'm not strong to let go Thanks for taking time to read and reply though, really appreciated

Hey.Reply to person #1 To be honest it doesn't help but I do it anyway I do spend some time in the sun Idk whats going on within me Anyway thank you for taking time to read a d replyPerson #2 Its a weird way of viewing things but you're not wrong I'm not in a strong enough mental state to view things like that right now Right now it's easier for me to stay in the past and like the memories of him I can't accept it yet I'm not strong to let go Thanks for taking time to read and reply though, really appreciated 