Tonight might just be the night. If I end it now everything for my family might get better. I won't be a burden anymore. I'll be dead. I won't have to live like this anymore. I can be free. It's not like anyone is going to miss me. It's not like some guy is going to be like, oh shit my soulmate died. It's not like I will leave any friends behind. It's not like my family will really care. They don't care now so why would they care when I'm dead? I know it's sick but I want them to watch. I want to leave that memory for my dad. So he finally knows what he did to me. I want them both to know what happened. That I wasn't happy. I want them to know for the rest of their lives there was something they could have done and just didn't think it was worth it. I love them but if I have to be trapped why can't they be to? I don't know. I just don't want to be trapped anymore. I want someone to love and care about me. I want to be safe. But I am never going to get those things. So wants the point?