I genuinely fear crowds. Just like people in general. I walk past someone around my age and part of me wants it to be a friend, part of me wants it not to be because I don’t have the energy to talk and part of me just doesn’t want to see anyone.When I’m not out in society I hate my life even more: I have a loud neighbour and things just genuinely trigger me, like getting a tiny drop of water on my arm, or when someone talks too loudly. I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to do something fun but whatever I used to find fun is just stressful now. It feels like whenever I try to do something I fail miserably, and when I don’t do anything I feel like a worthless piece of crap. I don’t say anything to my friends or family because I honestly don’t now how to, and whenever someone tries to dig I always fake another less important issue for no reason. I’ve thought about self harm and suicide, but even that I can’t do right. What’s the point of my existence?