What's wrong with me

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I'm only 14 and have multiple suicide attempts a long history of cutting and drink alcohol any time I get the chance. Everyday I help people with there problems but when I try to talk about mine I get shut down. I've been diagnosed with sever depression, ptsd, and anxiety. My family constantly rubbed it in my face that I was a mistake, my mother lives through me and scince I'm not the favorite I could speak out of turn and lose everything. And today the only thing that ever showed me kindness, my dog, collapsed and is now on two medications and I'm not even sure if he'll live much longer it doesn't help my cat went missing last year. And on top of that in June my great grandma died. My mother abandoned us when I was 6 and is only back now because she's on probation she's given me scares and tried to choke me to the point everyday the police would be at our house.

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