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What's wrong with me

I'm only 14 and have multiple suicide attempts a long history of cutting and drink alcohol any time I get the chance. Everyday I help people with there problems but when I try to talk about mine I get shut down. I've been diagnosed with sever depression, ptsd, and anxiety. My family constantly rubbed it in my face that I was a mistake, my mother lives through me and scince I'm not the favorite I could speak out of turn and lose everything. And today the only thing that ever showed me kindness, my dog, collapsed and is now on two medications and I'm not even sure if he'll live much longer it doesn't help my cat went missing last year. And on top of that in June my great grandma died. My mother abandoned us when I was 6 and is only back now because she's on probation she's given me scares and tried to choke me to the point everyday the police would be at our house.

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Re: What's wrong with me

Hi, I'm 12, and I think I have early onset generalised anxiety dissorder. I used to self harm, i only cut once because I didn't want people to know, also, it's a bit suss to take a knife to your bedroom and thats where i self-harmed. I used to graze myself with needles. I still have scars from where I poked my hands with them. You are worth so much more than you think you are. My dad's father had alchohol issues, and he personally saw the pain that comes with addiction. Alchohol can be so harmful AND it's a depressant. It can become a vicious cycle, i'm depressed, i want alchohol, i'm depressed, i want alchohol. I find it very hard to talk about my mental health too. I don't want to sound like i'm bible bashing, but when i was in my darkest place, i began to lose faith. I began to doubt, then one day, i decided to test it. So I prayed to God and immediately i could feel his presence. One night i prayed that he would take the pain away, i spent hours one night praying in my tears and my panick attacks stopped. Just like that. Now, if i went to my family doctor for mental health issues i wouldn't be diagnosed with anything, yes i still worry but it's getting better by the day. Once i tried to tell my dad about my anxiety, he had a rant at me about how christians don't have mental health issues, christians (people like my dad) can have the wrong idea sometimes which makes my religion get bad press, people think christians are perfect and joke about hell, it's more real than it seems, nobody fully knows what it is, but extreme loneleyness with the only indication of other people being there screams of agony doesn't sound to great. just so you know, i don't believe that you are a mistake, God wanted you here. Also, I really care about you, good luck for the future. :)