Time Spent- 14m 39s
19 Visitors

Whats wrong with me?

I hate him. 5 years together, my family welcomed you with open arms, gave us money for our home, we looked at houses at pets, we were planning a wedding and you've thrown it all away.

You used grinder behind my back. Apologised and swore to never use it again. But then your on Tinder. "make sure I'm what you want" i said "lets have a short break"

5 weeks and you're in love with a girl with my name, my look, my job, my entire life is hers but you love her and not me. You said you'd leave her for me but changed your mind. You said come over when she wasn't going to be around but you'd never have done that to me. You said you thought of making love to me regularly but shamed me for trying to fix us. You said we belong together and just be patient while you work things with her.

You take pictures with her like you never did with me. You take her out like you never did with me. You bring her 400 miles to places you know ill be and i god damn hate you and i hate her. I meet someone and you tell me how he's not right for me and your jealous but you'll tell me she's everything I'm not...

I hate you so much. And i hate that i love you. I hate that I'm sat here waiting for you to message. I hate that i unblock you everytime just in case you missed me. I hate how you've made me hate myself and question everything. I hate that you've tried to guilt me and say everything was my fault.

I don't think i hate you really. I think I hate me. I know you'll never see this and neither will she, she'll never know you were planning to meet me in secret, that you deleted our chats so shed never see, that you told me you loved me and we spoke on the phone all those times she thought you were at the gym.

No. I hate me for being the fool who despite everything she knew growing up, let herself fall in love with you. And i hate myself for realising i was right to always be distant to never hurt like this, and i hate myself for knowing I'll never make the mistake tk truly love a man again.

Thank you. But i hate us both.