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what's wrong with me

ok so I don't know whats wrong with me all my life bullies at school has called me ugly and weird. One time I cut my hair really short and people took pictures and made fun of me on their snap chat the next day the whole school was talking about it and people were laughing at me but I had no idea since I wasn't allowed to have social media (this happened in 7th grade) I even asked someone who was supposed to be my friend if people were laughing at me but she lied straight to my face. I've never had and real friends and when I did I was only the backup friend when they had no one else to talk to. But what hurts even more is that even my own dad thought I was weird when. One time I felt suicidal and all my dad cared about was helping his friend move and him and my mom had a meeting with the teachers and he called me Wednesday Adams like wtf. I've never felt confident in my body and I hate myself. Ive cut myself in the past and I really feel tempted to do it now but any who thats all i wanted to say