a month ago
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Who is right and who is wrong? Please tell

I have been married since 2 years but my husband never took me out anywhere with him. He gave many reason for it:

  1. I am an introvert and once in the start, he took me with his friends. But his friend’s said to him about me that i didn’t talk with them. So based on this, he said this made him afraid of taking me anywhere with him. He said his friends bring their wife to parties because their wife knows how to talk but i do not know.
  2. He said i can never sit with him on the bike because this makes him uncomfortable as every one sees us.
  3. Once on our honeymoon, we had an argument and i went out from the hotel and sat somewhere outside for a time. He had called me to come then i came back. So he made this as a point for not taking me anywhere that he don’t take me because he is afraid if we go to some place, i might run from there. And this would make a bad impression on people there.
  4. He said he may take me only if i listen and do as he say. He said i don’t eat with good etiquettes, that is why he never took me with him.
  5. He said he didn’t like the way i wear clothes or how i talk. He said he didn’t like my way of talking.
  6. He himself has a routine of being with his friends from 6 pm to 9 pm without fail. Any day, Sun to mon. They all sit there in a room, talking, playing video games. I don’t like this habit and i fought with him to not to go everyday. Just go on weekends, but he says he would go.

He want to make me change myself. Before marrying him, i was complimented for my dressing. But he didn’t like it. He says before people didn’t care for me so they weren’t bothered how i dressed. But he cares as he is my husband. For me it is not a big thing to wear what he wants but i just feel everything he wants from me is shallow. Dressing, looking nice, changing the way i talk. He can never accept me as i am because we got arranged marriage.

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a month ago

Re: Who is right and who is wrong? Please tell

I was gonna rant about how your husband is unfair, but the end where you mentioned it was all part of an arranged marriage I have to say sorry for whatever you've been through. The question about who's right and who's wrong leads me to the answer of your husband, he could've changed the way he acted to you as soon you both new that you'll be married, but everyone has their own opinions and reasons on why they're angry so just let him be I guess. But two years and he still hasn't changed? I want to leave out all the personal information as possible if I talk about this so I'm not gonna ask about why you're both in an arranged marriage, but be strong. Talking to him might not work but if you want to be free I suggest doing something about it for you and you're freedom, I don't know I'm just a kid who wants to help but I want to support you ^u^

Dear sister, I am so sorry your husband is shaming you over everything! There is nothing wrong about being introvert, it means you are a good listener and don't need to compete with others to be the loudest. There is nothing wrong in eating the way you eat as long as it's not unhealthy. There is nothing wrong in sitting by yourself when you are upset. There is nothing wrong in having your own style of clothing. Your husband is blaming you for his own mistakes, but he is also being plain cruel and not doing any effort for you which is absolutely unfair. I'd advise you to take the time to read about feminism. Then only decide if you want to live with this mean teenager-man your whole life or if you have better things to do with your time! (my tip: do not try to discuss feminism with him until you have assimilated all of the arguments: your husband seems good at manipulating words and apparently had a very sexist education!)

Instagram has a lot of feminist accounts, it's a good way to start, lots of ressources are shared!