Have you ever thought about what you’re doing here? Cause i ask myself that question almost everyday and i can’t find an answer. I feel like I’m the most useless miserable person ever. I’m not loved by my family and most of my friends don’t wanna be friends with me anymore. I feel like my parents do what they do to me more of a duty than love because they don’t show it in any way. Everyone is waiting for me to make one small mistake so they can find a reason to be mad at me and treat me like shit. If someone asks me who loves you the most in this life non of my family members would be the answer i know that. I’m i even loved by anyone in this world? I don’t even know. If i met me i wouldn’t like me, what’s there to like? I don’t have anything to give to anyone and yet i care about a lot of people who don’t give a shit about me and secretly wish that i was dead or were never even born. Sometimes i imagine if I wasn’t here who would be affected by that? No one i guess. They will be sad for month or two and then they will go back to their lives. No one will miss me. No one will remember me. And everything will be better for everyone. I don’t wanna kill myself or anything or at least not now. It’s just thoughts that comes to me and i can’t help it. I wish I could share this with anyone. I need help i know i do, but i don’t even have the courage to ask for it. I hope that one day my suffering will come to an end and i will finally be able to be happy again, but sometimes I think that that day will never come and there is no point in trying.
Don’t give up . We all have our cloudy days of feeling like no one cares . We get locked in our thoughts and think the world world would be better off without us . I felt like this a lot growing up and now I’m so numb to pain that I honestly don’t feel anything . but if I don’t know anything I do know that everything will get better with time just don’t give up . I wish you the best