I’ve cried all day. I laid in bed & won’t get up. I put my chores aside & have no energy to do anything, I’m going into work tomorrow with eyes that look like I got an allergic reaction. (It made me laugh though, reminds me how pathetic I am). today is the first steps to new routine & to trying harder.
my anxiety has gotten so bad that I know I’m going crazy, also my depression worsen. but I won’t do anything bad. It feels good to write how I feel down.
I feel like I’m not going anywhere in life, I’m not happy where I’m at, I won’t & can’t do anything to better it. I don’t have the motivation & I don’t have the knowledge I need to do so.
I try to be a positive person, but I honestly can’t even hold a conversation with someone to even remember the little things that they’re saying. & then I feel bad cause I don’t remember certain things sometimes when someone ask me questions about them. Yeah that’s pretty shitty, what’s wrong with me.
I also tried to make friends last night, but I think I traumatized myself because I overthink the whole night & ended up giving out bad energy. I’m definitely not ever trying that again. sometimes I talk to much & I feel regretful of everything I say & have opinions on. why must I be this way.