I think there is something wrong with me. Ever since I was little, I struggles to interact with other children my age. I preferred to be alone, and my teacher was very worried so asked my parents to send me to a behavioural physiologist. They told me nothing was wrong, and this sort of thing was a normal phase at my age. my parents were overjoyed. However I never did grow out of this, only making 2 friends. In my primary school, we had a very small class and I got a lot of support, however I still always struggled to keep up with the teacher and took much longer then the others to finish my work. I hated it, I wanted to be like the others, but it wasn't a problem as the TAs always helped me to keep up. I was always called 'sensitive' any small disagreement with others would make me very upset for hours afterwards, and I would begin crying even after a small insult. When I went to secondary school, that's when I truly realised that I was different from others at least in some ways. I struggled to talk to the new people in my school, it was like a block in my mind, keeping me from being able to talk to them. I quickly gained a reputation as the 'weird kid', and began getting bullied. I just wanted to be seen as an equal and treated with respect, but I was treated like dirt. This caused me to become suicidal at 11 and my grades plummeted. I couldn't keep up in class, I could barely focus on my schoolwork and got distracted by the smallest things. After a year or two, the bullying began to subside, and I got happier. I was never able to make many friends and was a bit of a loner, but at least I was left alone. I still struggled immensely in class, My concentration was awful and the often loud and chatty class prevented me from being able to focus on my work, to the point i barely got anything done. Without my parents forcing me, I would constantly miss homework deadlines but managed to get by because my teachers didn't want to give detention to a 'quite kid'. I hated school it made me so stressed and I felt exhausted every day when I got home. By year 9, I really began to notice how lacking my social skills were. I struggled to understand others and even worse, I didn't understand how to make my tone of voice match my intention. The bullying came back, this time much worse and I became suicidal again. My mum finally got me a therapist who diagnosed my with social anxiety disorder. This year was the worst of my life and I barely made it out. Now, 2 years later I'm doing a lot better, but im beyond frustrated. I can't focus on my gcse studies and am kind of screwed. I just feel lost and like I am in a box. Everything that enters the box becomes warped and changed making it hard to understand, everything that leaves is warped too. I just want to be normal and be able to talk without this box. I want to be able to finish all my work on time without being pushed, i want to be able to remember simple things. Why am I like this??