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Why can't I fucking leave him?!

I'm so mad at him. But, I hate myself more. Why can't I bring myself to say that I wanted to break up with him.


He cheated on me with 9+ girls and 4 gays. He's hurting me physically, emotionally and mentally. I even have bruises left. He got a woman pregnant (He didn't take the responsibility, of course) and is cheating with his 13th or 14th girl.


I don't know what to do. He is my only ally.