I have a life ahead of me to live. Hell, I'm not even an adult just yet. I will be soon, but I don't see much for myself in the future. Why can't I just be happy? I have a good boyfriend, some good people in my life... Why do I feel like throwing it all away? I really don't understand why I'm feeling like this. I can't talk to anybody about it, because I'm afraid they'll report me to some suicide prevention bullshit. I don't wanna be on meds, I don't wanna be locked up in some place that tries to force me to be happy. I just want to find happiness on my own.